Starting to Move On

by on January 11, 2012

I haven’t been as good doing regular posts on my blog like I wanted to when I first started. Work, the holidays, spending time with friends and family have all taken priority (rightfully so). Still, it seems a little strange that I haven’t found 10 minutes here or there to sit down and make an update. Every time I put it on a list, I always move it to the next day’s tasks. Clearly this strategy has not been working for me.

I think I keep putting it on the back burner because, well, I’m over breast cancer. Yup, just plain over it! It doesn’t consume my every thought like it used to. I don’t go to sleep and wake up thinking about it. I don’t spend a ridiculous amount of time obsessively reading every post on breastcancer.org or googling every single side effect and statistic.

Now, I don’t want to go and tempt fate or jinx myself, but I feel really good. Obviously, I don’t look like my old self yet (I’ve probably got about 1” of hair growth on my head – woo!) but I don’t even think about THAT as much anymore. I can’t tell you how awesome it feels to be getting back to normal. I can’t tell you how thankful I am for this life and for all of the wonderful people (old and new!) who have supported me during the last 7 months. I am eternally grateful for each and every one of you! I am definitely on the other side of this and I couldn’t have done it without you.

This is all good stuff here.

I have five radiation treatments left. That’s right, just a measly 5. January 17th will mark the end of my  active treatment. I’m ready. I still have a couple things left, but they aren’t nearly as bad as what I’ve already done. I have to start taking Tamoxifen (prescription that binds to estrogen making it less available for tumors to feed on) in February. I also have the second half of my reconstruction surgery sometime in June. Tamoxifen may give me a lot of shitty side effects; but it may not. Going under the knife again isn’t the most fun thing in the world but these things look like child’s play compared to what I’ve been through.

As I said to the hubs on Sunday, “I’m BACK, baby!”

Sorry cancer, but I’ve moved on.

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Less January 11, 2012 at 12:58 pm

(insert happy dancing here!!). Woo-woo! You’ve pretty much been through hell and back and I am loving your attitude. Fron here on out it’s living each day on your terms! Time to put our ” Bucket List for Moms and Daughters” together and start crossing stuff off our list! Huge,Huge,Huge hug to you and Cliff. You both deserve the very best this life has to offer.. Love you both!!

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Kasi January 11, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Thank you MOM!!!! I can’t wait to get our Mother-Daughter list together and start ticking them off! I am so excited! First one is the hot air balloon ride. I love you SO MUCH! Thank you for everything <3 <3

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Juli Rouillard January 14, 2012 at 4:25 pm

You definitely made me cry! Im so happy for you…for everything you’ve come through…You are an amazing person Kasi. Congrats on being Back!

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Kasi January 14, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Juli, right back at ya! Thank you so much for reading and for your support! <3

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Vivie January 15, 2012 at 12:57 am

So happy for you Kasi!! many many hugs!

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Kasi January 17, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Thank you Vivie!!! I’m so thankful that you have been a part of our “August Crew” – you have all made it so much more bearable! <3 HUGS!!!!

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Buffy January 15, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Kasi, I am crying as I write this. I am so proud of you and your strength. As I’ve said to you in the past “You go girl”! Love you.

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Kasi January 16, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Buffy, you are so sweet, THANK YOU!!!!! You are such a wonderful friend, I love you!! <3

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Kristen Kimball January 16, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Kasi – I guess I’ve been under a rock for the last year. I totally missed this and had no idea you’ve been going through such a challenging time. I am amazed and inspired by your positive attitude. I imagine battling cancer must be one of the hardest thing a person (and his or her family) has to to do. The way you’re facing it says so much about who you are as a person, and I’m in complete awe of your strength. Thank you for sharing your story, and for giving others in similar situations the motivation to keep on keepin’ on… You’re incredible.
xo
Kristen

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Kasi January 17, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Hi Kristen, Thank you so much for your comment! I’m not positive all of the time, that’s for sure. I definitely still have my days but those are becoming fewer and far between. :-) I really appreciate you reading and your support means SO much to me! Thank you!

xxoo,
Kasi

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Melissa Sawyer January 17, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Kasi Gatjkaowski-

First of all, I want to say I love you. I don’t think we tell our friends, old and new, that enough. We lose touch because of life’s natural events , but never forget our friends who have meant so much to us throughout the years.

I read your blog, and had sudden flashbacks of all our sleepovers, pool parties, night’s at Rockers (hahaha), and all the laughs we shared. That same girl from high school with the smiling, positive attitude, is shining her brightest as a woman in the scariest moments of her life. Your attitude through all of this does not surprise me. You are an unbelieveably strong person, and I’m proud to have you as my friend. Congratualtions on your last day of active treatment!! Live your life to the fullest…..it sounds like you and your mom have some very exciting things to do!! All my love and thoughts to you, Cliff and your family.

Love, Sawyer =)

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Kasi January 17, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Sawyer!!! I love you, too! Thank you so much for reading my blog! I will never forget all of our fun times together; they are memories that I will cherish forever. Definitely living life to the fullest and I am so grateful for my friends and family helping me through this. It was so nice to read this today, Melissa, thank you!! Take care, girl, and I would love to see you sometime!

<3, Kasi

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Miya Goodrich-Phillips January 22, 2012 at 6:36 am

I just read this, :) I think it’s natural to put cancer behind you, because, it IS behind you. You did what you needed to do, you kicked it’s ass, and now it’s time for the rest of your life!! I wish you all the best as you move forward. I’m always here for you! Glad our conversations can now be about feeling good and Housewives shenanigans, hahaha.

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Kasi January 24, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Thank you so much, Miya!!! Feeling good and HW shenanigans are way more fun anyway!! Hahaha :-)

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